Soulmates

I will make an admission.

For many years, I had believed in the notion of soulmates. That there was only ‘one’ person, who was destined to be with me. That this person was looking to. That this person could fill an emptiness deep within me. Loneliness is what I have felt, for a majority of my life. It is in this loneliness, I had attempted to find fulfillment but had not succeeded.

I had spent hundreds of dollars, and countless hours of cold-readings, psychic hullaballoo for what? to quell my anxieties. To tell me that “It will be okay. It will be fine.” To be entitled to this fictitious pipedream of ‘true love’, via the media.

Nearing my late 20s, I realize that none of this is real.

The Greek Mythos, as per Plato’s symposium spoke of the notion of soulmates… that the eternal struggle of human, is to find the ‘other’. Such mythos permeates all throughout religions. It is deeply ingrained in history, and by extension, culture.

The belief of soulmate sets idealistic expectations… one which ultimately disappoints. People aren’t products. They desire, and fear… they have feelings. Yet, in today’s era we swipe through slews of people as if we were looking at a catalogue. To place a ‘value’ on a person. The notion of ‘soulmate’ demands that the other person be ‘perfect’, when perfection does not exist. Immediately, the individual strives for “happily ever after”, in this pursuit of perfection. That is their ultimate motivation. We lie to ourselves.

Soulmates aren’t all that romantic. Rather, it’s selfish idealization. Fights, squabbles, arguments… they happen. Polarities between two people. They happen. The notion of soulmate demands that the other does not bring conflict with them, during union. Again, nonsense.

In my digression, that is not to say that I do not wish to get married one day. On the contrary, that is my intention. To one day marry into a stable commitment, with the intention of ’til death do us part with children in-mind. They are not perfect. Rather, they are human. They are real, and practically speaking they fulfill my expectations. Man, or woman. It matters very little to me. It is the person.

“Is this the person I wish to spend the rest of my life with? To grow with, to experience all of life’s trials and tribulations with?” The ultimate question. I am looking for the best journey with this other.

Even then, one is complete all on their own already. There is no cosmic love pre-assigned.

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