Art Reflects Humanity.

Well, duh. Art is categorized in the Humanities for a reason. Art is very Human.

In my further exploration, and elucidations into the subconscious and its nebulous… yet mysterious powers, I find the correlation in all forms of art. Music, and the like. For instance:

I now realize, that this song ‘Meet Me In The Woods’, is about a man who is fighting with himself. That is, the dark place, he speaks of is his unconscious. And how he Fucked with the forces, that our eyes cannot see.

“I took a little journey to the unknown” = The unconscious/subconscious.

Love always gets thrown into the mix, as well as any form of intimacy. After-all, there is no better interaction/relationship between one another, than love to illuminate the darkness within ourselves. That is why, we are drawn to the relationships we are drawn to. Perhaps, to heal that rift within ourselves. I can attest to my history in relationships, being unfavorable and the exact opposite of idealistic. I do not regret any of them, however… for they’ve granted me of a helm onto who I am, as a person.

The man in the song, has actually returned from his Call To Adventure, forever changed, as he says that he “…can feel it in my bones.” Also, the numinous forces of the subconscious cannot possible be communicated, through mere language. Imagery, only. In his saying “There ain’t no language for the things I’ve seen.” The interesting thing about this figure, singing and professing to an obvious love of his… is that he wishes to reveal his darkness to her, and see hers as well. That is, to be vulnerable. “Show me yours and I’ll show you mine.”

The night is seen as dangerous, yet seductive and romantic… for instance. And the night alludes to the unconscious, the darker aspect of ourselves. Much-like the Animus/Anima who lurks in that aspect of ourselves. Yes, that is how love occurs… Love-At-First-Sight. I speak not of bodily love (lust), exclusively. I speak of a love more developed, and one more higher.

It is through great suffering and pain, I believe, only maturation can occur.

I’ve Been Drawing You All Along…

AI Composite.
What AI, supposes he looks like in facial-features.
The Sir.

I flip-flop between believing in fate, and also believing in the notion of ‘soulmates’… although, something deep within me, always brings me back to that belief.

On occasion, I like to delve into the occult. Receiving readings, or getting drawings done… even drawing from my mind, to try and find out who this is.

I call him “Alexander”, even though that isn’t rightly his name. It just seems rather ‘fitting’.

I’ve found him in traces of everyone I’ve ever became infatuated with… or, ever been in a relationship with. Had I ever encountered him physically?

The answer is ‘no’. I know that he rightly exists, however.

Subconsciously, I’ve been drawing him…

And even when I do find him, I’ll still… continue to draw him. He is my muse.

PhD Progress PT II (Drawing)

An update to the former post of a digital drawing I’ve been working on today. Here’s a portion of the cover, somewhat finished. The glitchy effect was by accident, but I loved it so much I decided to keep it as a side piece to the original cover.

The title is withheld until the comic is published of course.

I seem to have a thing for hands, truth be. Especially long fingers. That’s probably why I like most pianists.

Photoshop CS6 was used, with a Wacom Intuos pro tablet. A whole lot of references via google, were also used.

It’s been a while since I’ve drawn, admittedly… in-between my other responsibilities I have been trying my best to fit it in. Not just drawing, but painting, as well!

I’m influenced from a lot of artists, truth be… if anyone can guess my influences in this piece. Feel free! Of course, I will admit this time around I didn’t consciously reference any particular artist. I focused on rendering values, and playing with colour instead.

No this isn’t me, my Nephew seems to think so. This is Stuart. His appearance is one I’d like to imagine what my future son would look like (all of my drawings are my children)… hypothetically-speaking of course. That is, if I ever do get around to having a son. IF.

PhD Cover progress

Pianism and music has been put on hold for my other responsibilities. There isn’t a lot of time in day, sadly… or, I’m just terrible at time management. Here’s what I’ve been working on, in-between marking students’ work for my sessional job as a drawing instructor:

Meryl Keioskie

The cover for my PhD comic. Admittedly, it’s been a while since I’ve digitally painted anything therefore, with this drawing I’ve been doing studies here and there.


Duality fascinates me. This reality is built on that cardinal rule. As within, so without.

I’ll allow this post to be a reflection of sorts. That is, acting as a reference for my own development and growth as a person.

This year, I will be solely focusing on these things… above all else:

  • Music. Learning More Of It.
  • Finishing My PhD.
  • Building More Of My Finances.
  • Looking After My Sons:

I adopted some rats, at the end of last year. Three brothers. Fancy rats, with beautiful unique patterns to their coats. Each different, in their personalities and temperament… and so, they were named.

Chopin, for his being sensitive and sooky. Chopin likes to bite my Nephew. Chopin is the most obese, out of the lot.

Ratmaninoff (Rachmaninoff) for his being the most intelligent. He’s often the first one to break out. He is also the alpha male with the largest testicles. I found it fitting, since Rachmaninoff has large hands. Heuheuheuhe.

And Liszt, for being the friendliest fella. He’s the runt, and the most playful.

It’s kind of funny naming my rats after pianists. I enjoy conversing with them, as owners tend to do with their beloved pets. Often, I’ll find that I do a double-take and chuckle at what I’ve said: “Liszt, stop urinating all over Chopin!” or “Ratmaninoff, why did you take a crap on Chopin?” And! “Ratmaninoff, stop biting Chopin and Liszt!” Also, I had to go to the vet, recently. Ratmaninoff has been ill as of late. Anyway, they were puzzled to hear his name, and so, they bluntly asked me for a nickname. To-which, I gave them “Sergei”. I remember stuttering on the phone like an idiot beforehand, with my stating his name: “R…r…atmaninoff…” Therein followed, an awkward pause from the woman, on the other end… which led her to request a nickname. My nephew calls him ‘Rach’, but I see ‘Sergei’ as being respectful to the original sexy Rachmaninoff.

Yes, I has me a crush on the Russian composer, and pianist Rachmaninoff. He was damned hot in his youth. Bet he was good at chess too, mhmm~ Him and Frederic Chopin. Franz Liszt, not so much. Sorry Franz, you’re too pretty.

Note: Disregard that.

Since then, I have went out and adopted three more rats:
Mozart, Papa Haydn, and Beethoven. They are delicious specimens. PHOTOGRAPHS COMING SOON!

By late 2020, I replayed this everyday. I remember seeing this scene, when I was seven or-so years old and being mesmerized by it. Ever since then, I always wanted to find it again. Sometime in 2019, I found it… and honestly, it took me a while to identify it, but when the memory clicked, I was ecstatic.

Yes… come sweet death.

With the first chapter of my PhD comic out of the way (I must complete the 2nd, before the end of this year) I’ve been pouring my ‘free’ days into pianism… whilst the circumstances allow it. Then it’s back to drawing, and Academia yet again.

Some progress shots of Chapter I complete:

Ah love.

Romantic is a period of music, and art… isn’t it?

The concept of harmony is only found in the conventions of music. What is this human contact, you speak of? Living in harmony… people are capable of harmonizing?

When people kiss, I do believe they’re transferring disease to one another.

When someone gives me the eye in public, I threaten them. Telling them, that they should keep that eye to themselves–then they’re quick to correct me, in that they are using TWO of their eyes, and not ONE of them.

I don’t care too much about your face. I believe you should notice, that I barely look you in the eye. I am more interested in your hands. More than likely, on a date, I will ask to see your hands. You have been warned.

Anyone who knows their way around seven octaves, has always got my interest. I will therein, proceed to ask you questions about how you do that–and then you will get slightly uncomfortable, due to the unsolicited attention I am paying to you. Relax, I just want your secret formula.

I like men and women, just fine. No bias, my dudes.

In attempting to be ‘special’ and ‘unique’, we unknowingly move toward a totalitarian society. Yes, if everyone is aiming for that objective, don’t you think it’s counter-intuitive? The only true way to become one’s self, is to do so… in complete solitude. I am a fucking weirdo, and I quite like that about myself.

If there was a clone of myself, I’d marry them. Hell, male or female. I’d like to see how long it would take for me to drive myself nuts–then again, I do a good job of that on my own… and there’s only ONE of me. I think we’d get on well. I’d get the other me to be a pianist, and I’d have this ‘me’ (the one typing) continue their Academic career.

PhD Comic Progress.

It’s been a while since I’ve posted anything on drawing. Not to worry, however… I’ve been working on that amidst my musical journey:

Some Progress Inks on my PhD comic. It acts as an address to bringing more awareness and understanding to high-functioning autism. Rachmaninoff’s Piano Concerto #2 was written right after he received psychotherapy for depression. A fitting piece. I love Rachmaninoff. So much, that I named one of my pet rats after him: “Ratmaninoff”. Also, I tend to have a thing for guys with big hands and long fingers in general, anyway.

This character is named ‘Stuart Yoshihiro’, he is a music student who studies piano and composing at college (I have to take some practice shots of my local Conservatorium, for chapter II). This explains why I have been going out and observing pianists, and chatting to some. I do find that many exhibit autistic traits like myself.

No, again… to stress. Not all of them. Although, I would say a majority do. The pianists who stand out in their pianism are very eccentric. I love that.

Those of us with Asperger’s (High-functioning ASD) find it difficult to initiate eye contact with others. Personally speaking, as an autistic person myself… eye contact is very difficult.

I have to push myself to maintain eye contact, and I often do so, with strangers in public so as to disguise myself. However, in doing so… I tend to overload my ability to process what I am experiencing.

The struggle with eye-contact has to do with that extra layer of processing. The micro nuances of socialization. The eyes can convey very much, and at times… staring into people’s eyes is extremely intense. I don’t remember the way people’s faces look, to be honest. It takes me a long time to remember what someone looks like, facially speaking. Since, many people exhibit a single emotion in different ways. There aren’t people who smile the same way, for instance.

The world presents itself intensely to me, as an Autistic person. This is attributed to what many would call “Intense World Theory”, a new concept which requires a lot more research… that may act as an integral puzzle piece to how the ASD individual consciousness processes their reality.

In sharing a little of my experience… the world is strange, and people are strange to me. I often feel misunderstood, and I feel that I can come on a little bit too intense for people’s tastes. I can, at times be blunt… and I tend to deviate away from being stereotypically feminine–or passive. It can be off-putting to many. Trivial matters, such as popular mainstream media do not appeal to me, and I’d rather exchange philosophical constructive concepts over chatter which is–say like… anything ‘trivial’. For example, pointless gossip or celebrity bullshit.

It is for that reason, I tend to relate very well… to high-functioning autists like myself.

Drawings Dump: Some Of My Digital Sketchbook.

Some drawings I did from earlier in 2020. I never got to post these, initially–this site is rather new, after all. Anyhow, here are some. Enjoy looking inside of my psyche.

I have a muse, yes.

NOTE: They’re uploaded in their original resolutions… therefore it’ll take a while to load, for some.

Meryl Keioskie.
The treasure master of 88 keys.
Alain is mean.
The Snufkin.
Meryl Keioskie.
I am you.
Meryl Keioskie
When the mind plays tricks on you.
Stuart Yoshihiro concept inks.
Alain~ aehhehhh~
Some Jean Giraud inspiration.
Kite flying, and the romantic possibilities.
He’s smiling because she’s shit at the viola.
Meryl Keioskie.
A depiction of myself and my ex.
Jazz hands,
Sleep angel, sleep.
Alain hates being called a sexy priest… but he is.
I sketch on my research notes often. Hurr-hurr-hurr.
I laugh at my own drawings, due to the absurdity of them.
Quiet, you!
Stuart is not impressed.
Love? You call that love. Get out of here.
How I flirt with men. Not pictured: the hours and hours of crying.
Meryl Keioskie.
Meryl Keioskie
Inspired by Max Richter’s ‘Infra five’.

Enjoy, my lovelies~

Drawings: Some’ore Sloppy Joes.

Here’s some more drawings I did for warm-ups, in-between inking marathons:

Mimicking some more of Craig Thompson’s whimsy, with his: “Thank-you god, for your perfect creation.”

People tend to get a kick out of depicting the feminine form. I get a kick out of drawing bean-pole dudes with large hands, long necks, and large ears.

Hell… yes.


Lady. You’re scaring us!

Where the title of this post comes from.

Sketch Redux “An Ivories Man”.

I wasn’t satisfied with the above, so I’ve re-drawn him to be more ‘warm’.

He’s a treble, and bass man. One for each hand. And he isn’t all that nice, per se. He is an imago to the darker side–the shadow, of one’s psyche. In this case, my character Stuart’s psyche. The darker aspects of one’s psyche, if integrated successfully holds great potential for creativity. The best of creatives, have danced with the darker aspects of themselves at one point or another. Those who deny that darkness within themselves, are doomed to be forever controlled by it… that is, unconsciously.

Mmmmm… next time, I will draw his hands in shot. Them ivory ticklers like to display their hands~ those with large hands, and long fingers which taper to a point are my favorite to draw… that as well as, wispy gamine pianists.

Comic Inking: More Progress.

Here’s some more inking progress I’ve done, from my PhD.

For those sleepless nights, where you’re laying in bed wide awake. I often work nights, as mentioned. From 10 PM to 4 AM. I prefer the night. There’s less distraction. I can draw, study, research, and practice music as much as I like.

He still can.

That’s all the inking done for tonight. Now, onto writing research. On a side note… I can’t stop thinking about my damned piano. With its 88 keys. Bewitching.