I’m trying to figure out, what is inside of this mind. If I am compelled to jump in, head-first to the darker recesses of it. I will lose myself. I will be given to insanity.
Thus, I do not take the endeavor lightly. Only little by little, do I submerge myself into its depths.
The mind will consume you, if you do not tread lightly. Little ‘you’ will be lost. Either you become trapped in the void, or you come back… victorious, finding that piece most seductive. The inner-light. Thus, what you ‘were’ is transformed anew.
Either you embrace the deepest, darkest depths of the self… or you await it. The tides will rise, regardless. We’ve not any choice in the matter. The concept of ‘self’, in all of its ‘fragility’, is temporary.
All of these prevailing theories, and mysteries having to do with the metaphysical works to explain the part of ourselves, we will never understand. The subconscious. That which cannot be explained, is reduced to mere mystery… and even then, that explains, nothing at all.
I cannot be truly alone, lest I willingly surrender my ‘self’ to the absurdity of my subconscious. My responsibilities, and duties which exist outside of this labrynth is what keeps me anchored, thus, it grants that fragile ‘self’ a purpose.
“White Room Torture” comes to mind. If there is no sensory output, no interaction with others… nothing. One has no choice, but to turn inwards. They’ve no other choice, but to drown in the sea of their subconscious. The mind eats itself.
Love goes much deeper, than pure physical impulse. Rather it is the urge to discover more of one’s ‘true self’. The hidden, and seductive hidden in the unconscious. That is why, when we are drawn to the other… we cannot intellectualize why that is so, for the powers at play, have much to do with the unconscious.
I do know, that my drive and pull to love has much to do with this. It is the ugliness, and darkness within myself I’ve yet to explore… I can see projected onto the other. This fragile little ‘self’, has no power over that projection. Thus, that strange familiarity of the other comes into play. That strange concept of ‘soul-mates’, is all linked to the unconscious mind’s recognition of what exists in its deepest recesses, in the other. “Yes, I feel as if you have always known me… Hence I have always loved you.”
That is why I am driven to love you, you reflect to me… the parts within myself, I want to accept. In loving you, I shall integrate that which, within myself, I reject.
I believe the second-world theory, is corollary to one’s unconscious. Whilst, the first-world in this parallel… refers to the conscious self.
First world = Consciousness. The fragile, and temporal state of the ‘self’ used to navigate this existence in the now.
Second world = The Unconscious. One which is unlimited, uncharted, mysterious… beyond conscious conception. No human in reality has the ability to access all of it, unless they are willing to sacrifice that fragile self. Madness would ensue. One would become everything, and nothing at all. The self is sacrificed, dissolved among that sea of unlimited potential. To human, it is unlimited… for one cannot scale its very depths, in its entirety and keep their consciousness intact. For the unconscious goes beyond-the-beyond of that limitation, of the fragile self. What we identify, and we come to know as ourselves… living in this material existence. One that is victim to change. One that has no choice, ultimately to the inexplicable chaos and meaningless of this world. The unconscious, in comparison to the conscious can be seen in this manner. Chaotic, and meaningless. The fragile self tries its best to assign meaning to it. Whether that be through spiritual, or religious affiliations. Signs, symbols (semiotics). These constructivist ideals, to find order in something which does not require it to exist.
Why be jealous of one who loves another? It is as if you are being jealous of your own unconscious self loving another, who also has an unconscious of their own. That which you seek on the outside of yourself, is already within. How? In-order for one to identify that which you seek in the other, you must have a conception of what it is… therefore, you have had it all along. In loving you, I am being selfish… and egoic. For, I can only love that which I identify (unconsciously) within the constellation/microcosm of mine own world.
I love you, because you reflect back to me, me.
In essence, aren’t we all the same… in the end?
No, no. Part of me will always love him. Because, the unconscious prevails. That unlimited aspect, which had identified that potentiality within him. Who he is to become (more of himself, as a tree grows from an acorn… simply does). You are not absent from me. Rather, you are always with me, for that which I had loved in you, I myself possess. In my subconscious. Is this unconditional love? Yes, I suppose it is.
There is no need for obsession, or longing to possess you. For you never left. Even before, I had happened upon you, you existed… although, not yet in the flesh.
Therefore, I set you free. And always, will I love you.
Should we be, we will meet one another again. And things will be different.
What a gift, the conscious mind is.
I do not let my loving you pain me, rather I attempt to… as much as I can, learn much about myself in loving you. That is a very important thing to consider.
Existential Therapy is one of my favorites.
Existential therapy is based on a broad range of insights, values, and principles derived from phenomenological and existential philosophies.
Where all one’s unlimited potential lies… the unconscious. Life is all about actualization of bliss. That is, to become more of who we must. Also known by Nietzsche as ‘Self-Mastery’. For one to transform, one must explore their not yet discovered depths of their unconscious. That is, in search of the philosopher’s stone—also known as the ‘Ultimate Boon’—the unrealized potentialities hidden within. Thus, all answers you seek are within.
Call to adventure: In the form of an animal. One either answers that call, or stay a victim to be saved. There is also the guide/teacher and ferrymen who assists the adventurer (The Hermit/Heirophant).
The Threshold Guardian: Represents one shadow, the portion of one’s personality which has been rejected, and thus relegated to the surface layers of the unconscious. If one accepts this rejected aspect of themselves, one gains an inner strength.
Through this adventure, one’s previous self begins to disintegrate. Thereupon a more impressive self, is birthed in its place. Death occurs in a dark place, such as in a cave or the belly of a womb. The adventurer will face the light, once they are reborn… (Maternal symbol). Reborn with a new sense of purpose, and strength. The unrealized potential.
An expansion of consciousness and therewith of being. Whilst this is a highly significant moment in one’s life, it is not at all the end of the journey.
With this power, comes the possibility of outer influence to corrup that harnessed potential. Mimicry, and enslavement to the opinion of others can be a prison… however one knows they’ve reached that unique pathway to bliss, if they themselves stand alone, secure, without influence of any other. Of course, this must be maintained, in-order to keep this ‘light’ intact. Easily, it can be lost… and in it being lost, one is called to adventure again.
The perilous journey of creativity, will reveal who we truly are… unto ourselves.
Stop thinking about it. What do you feel? Don’t let your mind rule over the matters of your heart!
Do not get lost in that beautiful mind of yours.
Do not get lost in that beautiful mind of yours!
Please… just. Do. Not. Get. Lost.
Please… find yourself.